National Domestic Violence Awareness Month

October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, which is a topic that must be acknowledged and talked about more, as it is a serious issue that occurs everyday. The statistics are unnerving; according to the CDC, intimate partner violence affects more than 12 million people per year. More than 1 in 3 women and more than 1 in 4 men in the United States have experienced physical/sexual violence or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime. Every minute in the US, 20 people are victims of domestic violence. According to the World Health Organization, 8,000,000 paid work days are lost every year by women because of the abuse perpetrated against them by current or former male partners. This loss is equivalent to over 32,000 full-time jobs. And 10,000,000 children are exposed to domestic violence annually. 

Domestic violence affects millions of people each year, and includes physical abuse, stalking, manipulation, coercion, treats, isolation, non-stop texting, and so much more. If you feel afraid of your partner, wonder why they criticize you and put you down, or believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated, then you may be a victim of domestic abuse. The chart below from helpguide.org describes the signs that can help you or someone that you may know is in an abusive relationship.

You’re not alone in this, and there is help for people who are in abusive relationships. If you see yourself or others in your life in the chart above, then reach out for help. Talk to the resources below, or call us here (901) 306-5433 at the Wellness and Stress Clinic of Memphis. Talk to a friend, pastor, physician, counselor, or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or visit their website at http://www.thehotline.org/. We believe you, and we’re here for you every step of the way.

Local resources include:

Rape Crisis Center (901) 222 4350

Exchange Club Family Center (901) 276-2200

Family Safety Center of Memphis and Shelby County (901) 222-4400

Memphis Area Legal Services (901) 523-8822

Memphis Area Women’s Council (901) 378-3866

Memphis Child Advocacy Center (901) 525-2377

Memphis Police Department Domestic Violence Investigative Unit (901) 636-3741

Shelby County Crime Victims Services (901) 222-3950

Shelby County District Attorney General’s Domestic Violence Unit (901) 222-1485

Shelby County Sheriff’s Office Domestic Violence Unit (901) 222-4400

Tennessee Department of Children’s Services (901) 578-4371

YWCA of Greater Memphis (901) 725-4277

References:

https://www.breakthecycle.org/blog/it’s-national-domestic-violence-awareness-month

https://www.methodisthealth.org/healthcare-services/employee-assistance-program/for-employees/eap-newsletters/2017/domestic-violence-awareness-month.dot

Coping During COVID-19

Does COVID-19 have you feeling stressed? Maybe depressed? Worried? Or possibly grateful? Blessed? Sometimes even happy? As each week, and sometimes each day, changes before our very eyes, I have come to realize that life during this pandemic is something that I cannot fully control nor plan out. This is coming from someone who loves to have every 30 minute-increment of the day planned out from when I wake up until I fall asleep, which basically went down the drain as soon as the quarantine started (cheers to all of the money lost by buying a 2020 calendar!). But, coming to let go of control and planning comes the realization that our emotions during this time might be on all ends of the spectrum and can cause us great grief and confusion if we do not have the accurate coping mechanisms and tools that are needed during this uncertain time. In this post, I’ll talk about the ways you can cope for some of the most commonly experienced emotions during COVID-19.

Stressed? DEPRESSED? ANXIOUS?

  • Get outside! Let the sun give you that much needed Vitamin D and try your best to relax.
  • Workout as often as you can, whether it is done inside or outside. Working out increases the production of endorphins, and like Elle Woods said, “Endorphins make you happy!”.
  • Keep a journal and write when you can. I find that making an entry everyday, even if it’s just a sentence or two, makes me feel better.
  • Distract yourself with productive work, but don’t try to not feel your emotions. It’s important to feel you feelings, but sometimes cleaning, learning something new, reading, etc,. helps to put us in another place mentally and emotionally so we can make our emotions work for us instead of against us.
  • All of these emotions are valid, but it is important to try our best to not live in them, as long term affects of stress, anxiety, and depression can lead to serious mental and physical health effects.

Denial? Anger? Fear?

  • It is completely okay to feel angry or to deny that this pandemic is happening, but we cannot control much in this situation, so it is important to try and control what you can: yourself. By making sure you follow the social-distancing and quarantining rules that are currently instated, you are helping to not only keep yourself safe, but others, too!
  • It’s normal to be angry that this is happening and possibly wreaking havoc on your life (mentally, financially, emotionally, physically, etc), but we cannot stay in this emotion for long, as anger and fear tend to go hand-in-hand.
  • If you can, try to meditate and say positive affirmations, as they will produce more positive feelings to combat the negative ones. Taking time to yourself to feel grateful and peaceful will help the fear and anger that occurs when thinking about how COVID-19 may have ruined a lot of things for us.
  • Remember, this will not last forever. This is just one part of our lives that is occurring and we will get through it.

Grateful? Blessed? HAPPY?

  • While for some it may be hard to understand how these feelings can occur right now, I have noticed that there are some who are experiencing these emotions as time goes on.
  • Feeling grateful/blessed/happy tends to come from looking on the bright side of things, and those who are experiencing this may be in a place where they went through the above feelings and came to the conclusion that they cannot control this situation, then became okay with that, and then remembered that will not last forever, so they decided to make the best out of the situation that they are currently in.
  • This may include journalling, trying to keep a bit of a new-normal schedule, and finding ways to keep busy and active.
  • Spending time with family and friends (social-distancing included, as usual!) will also help if you are in need of a happiness boost!
  • It is completely valid to feel happy that some things are cancelled and that you have more time to yourself, or that some of your responsibilities are on hold so now you have time to watch more TV/workout/relax/spend time with family/etc. This is a weird time, and finding what makes you happy is important!

We will get through this, one day at a time. The Wellness and Stress Clinic of Memphis will be open today, Monday April 20th, from 5-7:15pm. We will be offering Tele-Health Appointments during those times, which if you are interested in making an appointment, please call (901) 506-5433. If you would like any self-care tips, please refer to the “Self-Care and COVID-19” post from a few weeks ago. Stay safe and healthy, and remember to help #StopTheSpread in any way that you can.

–The Wellness and Stress Clinic Team